• A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Aries-themed design. The artwork showcases a fierce ram’s head engulfed in flames, with the Aries zodiac symbol glowing above it. The fiery colour palette reflects Aries' passionate and direct personality. Below, the sassy text reads: "Too blunt? Fuck that! Sugarcoating is for cupcakes, not Aries." A cheeky, rude astrology gift for Aries star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a colourful Pisces-themed design. The artwork depicts a mermaid with pastel hair holding a bottle of champagne, set against a glowing Pisces zodiac symbol. Below, the bold text reads: "My feelings have feelings and they're all fucked!" A funny, rude astrology gift for Pisces star sign fans.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Aquarius-themed design. The artwork showcases a woman with wavy pastel hair, pouring water from a jug while flipping the middle finger, set against a vibrant Aquarius zodiac symbol. Below, the sassy text reads: "Piss me off, and I’ll cry, then ruin your life!" A cheeky, rude astrology gift for Aquarius star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Capricorn-themed design. The artwork depicts a well-dressed goat in a suit, holding a coffee cup and a sign that reads, "I hate people," against a stylized Capricorn zodiac background. Below, the sarcastic text states: "Sarcasm isn't a coping mechanism, it's just who the fuck I am!" A hilarious, rude astrology gift for Capricorn star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Sagittarius-themed design. The artwork showcases a centaur with rainbow hair and a cheeky expression, holding a bow and arrow while making a rock 'n' roll hand gesture. Below, the sassy text reads: "If you can't handle the truth, don't fucking ask me!" A hilarious, rude astrology gift for Sagittarius star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Scorpio-themed design. The artwork showcases a fierce, vibrant scorpion with neon-style colours and dripping paint effects, symbolizing the Scorpio zodiac sign. Below, the intense text reads: "Mess with me and I'll ruin your entire fucking existence!" A sassy, rude astrology gift for Scorpio star sign lovers.
  • A white satin-look 100% polyester tote bag (38cm x 40cm) featuring a bold Scorpio-themed design. The artwork showcases a fierce, vibrant scorpion with neon-style colours and dripping paint effects, symbolizing the Scorpio zodiac sign. Below, the sassy text reads: "Mess with me and I'll ruin your entire fucking existence!" A cheeky and stylish astrology-themed tote bag, perfect for Scorpio star sign lovers.
  • A white satin-look 100% polyester tote bag (38cm x 40cm) featuring a bold Libra-themed design. The artwork showcases a pink-haired angelic figure holding the Libra scales, with soft pastel wings and a dreamy colour palette. Below, the cheeky text reads: "I love harmony unless you piss me off, then it's war you cunt!" A sassy, funny astrology-themed tote bag, perfect for Libra star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Libra-themed design. The artwork showcases a pink-haired angelic figure with devil horns, holding the Libra scales, with soft pastel wings and a dreamy colour palette. Below, the sassy text reads: "I love harmony unless you piss me off, then it's war you cunt!" A cheeky, rude astrology gift for Libra star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Virgo-themed design. The artwork showcases a sophisticated woman with pastel blue hair styled in a neat bun, set against a soft pink and green Virgo zodiac symbol background. Below, the no-nonsense text reads: "I don’t do messy. Get your shit together, you twat!" A witty, rude astrology gift for Virgo star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Leo-themed design. The artwork showcases a majestic lion lounging in a green armchair, wearing stylish sunglasses and exuding confidence, with a vibrant Leo zodiac symbol in the background. Below, the sassy text reads: "I don’t chase. I attract. Unless you're fucking hot, then maybe!" A cheeky, rude astrology gift for Leo star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Gemini-themed design. The artwork showcases twin figures with playful expressions, one with devil horns and a trident, the other with an angel halo and wings, representing the duality of Gemini. The background includes the Gemini zodiac symbol. Below, the sassy text reads: "Chaos? Drama? Tea? I’m fucking here for it." A cheeky, rude astrology gift for Gemini star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Taurus-themed design. The artwork showcases a relaxed bull lounging in a green armchair, holding a juicy burger in one hand and resting near a drink on the side. The Taurus zodiac symbol is in the background. Below, the cheeky text reads: "Feed me, love me, or fuck off!" A hilarious, rude astrology gift for Taurus star sign lovers.
  • A white 11oz coffee mug featuring a bold Cancer-themed design. The artwork showcases a dramatic crab with teary eyes, clutching its claws menacingly, with the Cancer zodiac symbol glowing in the background. The colours are vibrant and playful. Below, the sassy text reads: "Sensitive? Yep. Petty? Absolutely. Dangerous? You bet your arse!" A cheeky, rude astrology gift for Cancer star sign lovers.
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Pypog Gift Shop Feltham

Rude & Sweary Zodiac Mugs & Tote Bags – Funny Inappropriate Astrology Gifts

Rude & Sweary Zodiac Mugs & Tote Bags – Funny Inappropriate Astrology Gifts

£7.00 GBP
£7.00 GBP
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Star Sign
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☕ 11oz Mug | 🛍️ 38cm x 40cm Tote Bag | Fast UK Dispatch | Savage, Sarcastic & Hilarious Designs

Looking for a funny, rude astrology gift for your brutally honest best friend? Need a sweary zodiac mug for your morning coffee because people just don’t get you before caffeine? Or maybe you’re treating yourself to a sarcastic tote bag that perfectly sums up your star sign personality?

These bold, sweary horoscope mugs and tote bags are here to say what everyone’s thinking—but with extra attitude. With vivid, high-quality designs and brutally accurate quotes, these make the perfect gift for astrology lovers who give zero f*cks.

Perfect for birthdays, Christmas, Secret Santa, or just because you feel like being extra. If your bestie, sister, work friend, or partner thrives on sarcasm and astrology, this sassy astrology gift will be their new favourite thing.

♈♉♊♋♌♍♎♏♐♑♒♓ Which Zodiac Sign Are You?

Each mug and tote features a hilarious, sweary zodiac quote that you just know describes you (or someone you love) perfectly.

🔥 Aries (March 21 - April 19) – Too blunt? Fuck that! Sugarcoating is for cupcakes, not Aries.
🔥 Taurus (April 20 - May 20) – Feed me, love me, or fuck off!
🔥 Gemini (May 21 - June 20) – Chaos? Drama? Tea? I'm fucking here for it.
🔥 Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) – I don’t chase. I attract. Unless you’re fucking hot, then maybe!
🔥 Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) – I don’t do messy. Get your shit together, you twat!
🔥 Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) – I love harmony… unless you piss me off. Then it’s war, you cunt!
🔥 Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) – Mess with me, and I’ll ruin your entire fucking existence!
🔥 Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) – If you can't handle the truth, don’t fucking ask me!
🔥 Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) – Sarcasm isn’t a coping mechanism, it’s just who the fuck I am!
🔥 Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) – Piss me off, and I’ll cry, then ruin your life!
🔥 Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) – My feelings have feelings, and they’re all fucked!

☕ Mugs – Because Coffee & Chaos Go Hand in Hand

  • Premium 11oz ceramic – perfect for coffee, tea, or the tears of your enemies
  • Printed on both sides – so everyone sees your attitude, no matter how you hold it
  • Microwave & dishwasher safe – but use moderate heat to keep the design looking fresh
  • Perfect for home, work, or annoying people who don’t believe in astrology

🛍️ Tote Bags – Stylish, Savage & Ready for Action

  • 38cm x 40cm white satin-look polyester – lightweight yet strong
  • Durable handles – perfect for carrying shopping, books, or your emotional baggage
  • High-quality sublimation print – won’t fade, unlike your patience
  • Folds up easily – ideal for shopping, work, or hiding evidence (just saying…)

🎁 The Perfect Gift for Any Occasion

  • 🎂 Birthdays – Because star sign attitude never takes a day off
  • 🎄 Christmas & Secret Santa – A hilarious rude astrology gift for the brutally honest friend
  • 💁‍♀️ Bestie Gifts – For the friend who always blames Mercury retrograde
  • ☕ Coffee Addicts – Because caffeine & chaos belong together
  • 👩‍💼 Workplace Sass – The perfect mug for the office savage (or the boss who swears too much)

📦 Shipping, Delivery & Returns

🚀 Dispatch Times

  • Orders are dispatched within 1-3 working days (because we’re efficient, unlike Mercury retrograde).
  • Made to order using high-quality printing to ensure perfection.

🚚 Shipping Options UK Only

  • Royal Mail 48-Hour Tracked – Delivered within 2 working days after dispatch
  • Royal Mail 24-Hour Tracked – Delivered within 1 working day after dispatch

📦 Every order is securely packaged to prevent damage during transit – because the only thing that should be shattered is your ex’s ego.

💔 What If My Item Arrives Damaged?

We pack everything super securely, but shit happens. If your item arrives damaged:
1️⃣ Take clear photos of the item & packaging
2️⃣ Email us at pypoguk@gmail.com with your order number & images
3️⃣ We’ll send a replacement ASAP (because we’re nice like that)

❓ FAQs – Everything You Need to Know

How fast will my order arrive?

  • Orders are dispatched within 1-3 working days.
  • Once dispatched, delivery takes 1-2 working days within the UK (depending on the shipping option selected).
  • Need it fast? Choose Royal Mail 24-Hour Tracked at checkout!

Are these mugs printed on both sides?

Yes! No matter how you hold it, your zodiac sass will be on full display.

Are the mugs dishwasher safe?

Yes, but to keep the design bold & bright, we recommend moderate temperatures.

How big are the tote bags?

38cm x 40cm – perfect for carrying shopping, books, or bad decisions.

What if my order is lost?

If your item hasn’t arrived within 7 working days (UK), message us and we’ll sort it out ASAP.

🔥 Why You Need to Order Now

Let’s be real—life is better when you embrace your sassy, sweary, astrology-loving self. These aren’t just funny zodiac mugs and rude tote bags. They’re a statement. They tell the world:

👉 Yes, I am exactly like my star sign description, and no, I won’t be changing. 👈

These brutally honest, sweary astrology gifts are SELLING FAST! Add to basket now before they disappear faster than a Gemini mid-conversation.

💥 LIMITED STOCK – DON’T BLAME MERCURY RETROGRADE IF YOU MISS OUT! 💥

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